If you’re a new coach, hear this: Growth lies in discomfort.
Imagine a coach who only asks easy questions, the kind that make clients nod along and smile. That coach may be well-liked, but they aren’t changing lives. The best coaches—the ones who make a real difference—are those who are willing to be Antifragile and ask the uncomfortable questions, the ones that make a client pause, squirm, or even get a little defensive. Growth, as much as we wish it were otherwise, is not born out of comfort. It’s born out of discomfort.
In the world of coaching, those who make it far are the ones who are willing to hear uncomfortable words—both from themselves and from their clients. Growth comes when we’re willing to confront the messy truth, to face the gaps in our abilities, to acknowledge where our work falls short. If you want to accelerate your progress as a coach, you must be willing to face criticism and rejection, and you must help your clients do the same.
Neither criticism nor rejection feels good, but they’re signposts on the road to a breakthrough. They’re like the glaring neon signs that tell us, “You’re not there yet, but you’re getting closer.” A great coach knows this, embraces it, and uses it as fuel to move forward. Drop your ego, and ask the questions that matter—even if they sting. Get your ideas, your methods, and your work in front of more people, knowing that “no” is not the enemy. It’s a breadcrumb on the path to a better “yes.”
Every “no” is essential, because it points out what’s missing, what’s not working, what’s waiting to be refined. A coach unwilling to challenge their clients, or themselves, is a coach destined to plateau. But the ones who embrace discomfort, who ask the hard questions and listen for the hard answers—they’re the ones who transform lives, starting with their own.